reflecting...

last sunday was more difficult than it should have been for such a relaxing day. both michael and i woke up in a great mood and were actually on time for church for once in a great while, something about weekends seems to make us move slower. after church, we drove to his parents house to spend mother's day with them and have lunch. michael bought his mom some cute yellow tulips and we went to a great new seafood restaurant (in the desert no less) and had a great time visiting with them. i called my own mom and wished her a happy mother's day and thought about how happy i was for her and her new job. joey was a little sore from getting his annual shots the day before so he insisted on cuddling with me the entire day. poor little guy, i wasn't complaining though since he smelled so good from his bath that his "grandma" julie gave him. :)

a great day, but in the back of my mind i kept thinking about how this would have been my very first mother's day. when i was pregnant i was so looking forward to mother's day, when people would congratulate michael and i. they would smile, give advice, maybe rub my babybelly and i would smile back because i knew i would be some body's mother very soon. there was nothing like that for me this year and perhaps now i'm recognizing my loss in new ways. i don't know if i'll ever truly be able to be a mom, but at least i know that i was some body's mom, even if it were for a short time.